Philippians 3:7 –
“But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as [one combined] loss for Christ’s sake.” AMP
Finally, I reached my goal!
For months I worked extra hard and long hours through the evenings and week-ends to save. I was faithful to put the money away to reach my goal to pay off a debt. I was anticipating the release, freedom, and joy; no longer squeezed in the grip of bondage.
Then the call came, a family member desperately needed funds, asking for help. As I prayerfully took the request to the Father, I already knew His answer – to release the funds. So many emotions raced within my mind and heart. Yet, I’ve learned to be faithful and obedient when the Lord opens the door to do as He requests. In His gentle voice, he said to remember, “I AM your provision.” He revealed those funds were meant to be set aside for this very purpose, in an hour of need.
It was not a matter of letting go of the funds as much as it was a matter of the condition of my heart in doing so. How many situations in my life (even when it seems for the good) will it take to completely understand His ways and thoughts? Beyond my lifetime, I’m sure.
Isaiah 55:9 –
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” NIV
The debt was not the grip of bondage I needed to be freed from, but my trying to force God’s hand in my drivenness, productivity, and self-striving. I stopped and sat quietly in prayer and stillness. The gripping problem churned inside me and sank to the bottom of my heart. It slowly oozed itself on to my bed and slithered down to the floor. For several days I just looked at it heaped in a pile on my floor and contemplated.
I’ve come to realize my inner drive was my friend and companion in my early years to help me survive and face life head on, no matter the circumstances. It was my inner protection to shield and protect my family while raising my kids as a single mom. It’s been my driving comfort and aid to help me focus on other people and other situations as it bandaged itself over my hidden emotions. Other times, it’s been my foe – pushing me to the point of exhaustion.
God gently turned the notch up a bit in the furnace of testing to purge the most minute bit of driving, pride, and self-striving. He’s been my comfort as he’s allowed me time to stop and take to heart my life prayer for the past 17 years from Oswald Chambers, “My Utmost for His Highest.” (January 2nd)
“Take no thought for your life,… nor yet for your body”–take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you went out.” “…until so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God.”
As God reveals more of Who He is in the deeper and life long journey with Him, faith must be tested. A faith trusting He will never allow me to stand alone.
My true desire – faith and trust in Him alone!
Finally, I reached my goal!
Release, freedom, and joy; no longer squeezed in the grip of bondage. All taken to heart, experienced, and found deep within, When I Let it Go, by Sierra (please listen).
Thank you Lord, your humbled servant.
healingoftheheart 
Reading this post left me with a peaceful smile.
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Thank you, I hope you are well. We need to get together soon, it’s been too long. April and Leslie invited me to see “Unstoppable” with them. This song by Warren Barfield is pretty amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUQAyd5GSV0
Bless you, Bernie
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That’s why I tell you that you are a special lady, and you are
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Thank you.
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A beautiful post on who we really should trust. OUr faith is not in chariots. It’s not in men. It’s in God alone
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Thanks, so much. Most all of us have something in our very nature we cannot shake until the Lord purges it out. Whether it’s the inner drive,lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and thelist goes on, it’s source is wrong. I sensed the Lord was going to deal with this in my life this last year. Finally, when I was completely sick of it and it’s effect on me, He brought relief. I feel quite different now. I’ve never felt this way before, very joyful, happy, and inner peace. Can’t wait to see what He does next! Bernie
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This is a great post – very encouraging. I too love reading Oswald Chambers.
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Thanks Bill, Yes, next to the Bible, Oswald Chambers ismy favorite. It has bits and pieces of me written all over it, high-lighted, and scored. I’m so glad they came out with red duct tape! I can’t seem to get the message with the newer versions. “The angel fetched Peter out of prison, but it was prayer that fetched the angel.” Thomas Watson I think that’s in Acts 13. Keeping you bathed in prayers.
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Pingback: Burdens and Joy | Garden2day
I was inspired by your comment on Bill’s writing about his honeymoon. It was so beautiful. I hope you don’t mind that I used part of your comment in my post. I usually get to know someone before I do something like that and ask for permission first but it touched my heart so greatly that I still have tears. You write with such meaning. I loved this post! It tells so much about what we should be — a witness to God’s love and your faith. I don’t know where you are in your journeys but I am praying for you. Be blessed and take care! – Amy 😀
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Hello Amy – my dear sister in Christ,
Tears have been flowing on this end of the screen, too (for different reasons). Of course, I do not mind you using what I wrote. Our Lord’s words and love are to be shared, they don’t belong to us to hold and keep to ourselves. I liked what you wrote on your post when I went to your blog –
I know God loves me and I know this is all temporary but every time I think I get somewhere, where I think I am standing on solid ground, I get pushed back to “GO.”
Yes, it’s in the “going” to where He leads and “calls” us to. The place to walk in faith, trust, and obedience for He takes care of the rest. We are held so tenderly and dearly in the palm of His hand. He is our firm foundation no matter what the circumstances may look like. His power, grace, and mercy are in the unseen. But, oh, the JOY for those whose see His very face!
Your blog and kind words have helped me today. I wanted to respond earlier, but I was at work and I know they wouldn’t appreciate me crying and dancing for joy at the same time while praising the Lord for the encouragement I needed today to continue to “GO” and Write His Words on the Hearts of Men, as He has “called” me to do.
God bless you and thank you!
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Glad I stop over at your site from David’s…this was a worthwhile read. It was mature fingers that typed the word of your post. I kept thinking about a pure heart as I read your words…thanks you for being faithful to listen to His spirit direction for your life…we who read benefit from your journey.
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Thank you, Betty.
Wow, I am very humbled by your kind words. I can tell by the name of your blog wiseheartedwomen you know the lesson quite well yourself. The peaks of life are amazing, but it’s the valley experiences that bring us into the very presence of the Lord.
God Bless You!
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