Hebrews 4:16 –

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The looming clouds and crashing waves did not penetrate the covering and protection of the Lord’s grace.  At the shore line, I stood on the firm foundation of faith in Christ – not wavering.  At the throne of grace, I watched the undertow set seaward another part of my husband’s life (our life) into the horizon – far away and distant until they were no longer in sight.

Grace through relinquishment

The brain cancer support group in the hospital informed us of treatments available.  They explained the seizures and loss of physical abilities.  Progression of anger and physical abuse could occur towards their caregivers and those closest to them due to the loss of the emotional and intellectual thought process to function and reason on a daily basis.

Words I didn’t want to hear, but grace abounds, kept coming to mind.  Extend grace.  My throne of grace will cover you – allow him to relinquish his responsibilities.

My husband paid the bills.  But, as the cancer progressed, he opened the mail and dropped it on the floor by the bed.  One month turned into two months as I watched the pile grow – envelopes opened, but nothing read or paid.

The tendency was to take his responsibilities away when he was incapable – but I couldn’t.  I had to trust the Lords grace in his life too.

One day, he looked at the pile and asked why it was there.  After I explained he said, “Oh, I’ll get to it soon and pay the bills.”  Two days later he said, “You can pay the bills until I start feeling better.  Right now I can’t get to them.”

Grace through Sorrow

I need to run an errand.  I can’t find my keys.  Can you help me?  By the way, I hit another bumper the other day while approaching a stop light.  No damage was done.

I found his keys.  Tears welled up and I couldn’t quite swallow the knot in my throat as I tucked the keys in my jewelry box.  I offered to take him where he needed to go and to help find his keys when we returned.  He never mentioned his keys again.

Grace through weakness

God’s Word of Truth says in all things and at all times we will abound in every good work as He provides all we need.

2 Corinthians 12:9 –

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  NIV

As time progressed so did the changes and times of anger.  But in the midst of all the changes, the Lord’s grace was all around us.  In every breath, every heartbeat allowed, every sunrise/sunset we were covered with His unmerited favor of grace towards us.  Not because of anything we earned or deserved, for it was given through God’s mercy of compassion – grace through Christ’s redemption of the human race.

Sol is our Great Dane.  My daughter asked if my son and I would temporarily keep, Moose, her Mastiff/Black Lab mix.  She said, “He’s kennel trained, sweet, and loving.  But, he chews on things – a lot.”

They’ve adjusted quite well to each other. However, have you ever walked into a situation and all you could say was… Oh, My Gosh?

My son left the house without placing Moose in the kennel.  It was amazing the mess and destruction the two were capable of in a short amount of time.  Books pulled from shelves and chewed to pieces.  Wood strategically chewed off the corners of chairs.  Feathers and stuffing displaced from a chair cushion.

As they raced to the back door to escape my amplified words of Oh, my gosh! – Oh, my gosh! (feathers and chair stuffing hanging from every part of their bodies) – Grace abounds came to mind.  Extend grace.  My throne of grace will cover you, let go.

Again, I stand at the shore line on the firm foundation of faith in Christ.  I watch the waves drifting away parts of my own relinquishments, weaknesses, and moments of Oh, my gosh!  Life continues to teach me not to find my identity in the things I own or possess within myself, but in Christ alone – for His grace is sufficient for all my needs as His power rests upon me.

Thank you Lord, in every situation, Your Grace Finds Me, by Matt Redman (Please listen)

Moose is still with us.  His chewing has subsided a bit and he’s all the things my daughter said.